Tales From the Apocalypse – Denver Edition

I was surfing Free Republic when I saw this post from somebody asking for advice.

Need recommendation for getting rid of black eyes (vanity)

So I was assaulted downtown Denver Sunday night. I ended up in the ER but was released later that night. I am fine, dealing with a concussion and some needed orthodontic work, but other than some soreness I’m ok. The good news is the police caught the guy and he is now facing felony assault charges. He hit me from behind with a bottle knocking me out and I hit my head on the curb (6 stitches).

The bad news is the swelling from my forehead has now shifted down to my eyes. The are puffy and appear bruised (black eyes) but there is no damage to the surrounding tissue. But it is rather ugly.

Any recommendations for getting the puffiness to go down and the black and blue to go away?

Any help for the proverbial raccoon eyes? Should I use heat or cold compresses? Any creams that help?

He says this just like it was normal. This is where we are heading. “Hey Herb, pardon me, but do you have any quick fix for arterial bleeding due to an IED detonation? I was on my way to work, and …”

He explains further:

I was walking towards the Taste of Colorado to catch the Joan Jett concert. I was walking on the right side, within a group of people, all heading the same direction. All of sudden, the crowd “opens up” and there is a black woman who is flailing (maybe fighting) and stumbling towards me and my son who is behind me.

I didn’t want my son to get sucker punched so I reacted the way the military trained me. I stepped to the right, moved her shoulder to the left and turned her away from me, but pulled her into me to keep her from falling. I also yelled STOP STOP! My son told me the last part ‘cause I dont remember much from this point on. I was then sucker punched and hit from behind by the three guys. Apparently it was all caught on video and witness by an out of state officer who followed the suspect and assisted the DPD in his arrest.

Did I tick him off – maybe. Perhaps he and his two friends were just wildin and just wanted to go getto on whitey.

Others interject:

The liberal media is hiding the fact that black on white crime has become a problem in Denver…particularly in the trendy city areas around the ball park, etc. Check out KNUS online in the mornings (Peter Boyle) to hear what’s really going on. The Denver Post (Pest) is a joke, and the tv stations are all populated by your standard low IQ marshmallow major video jocks who couldn’t detect a real news story if it attacked them in their Obama pajamas.

And:

Seriously Denver should be avoided. They are not reporting violent attacks in Denver and sweeping them under the rug to make themselves look good.

Then the original poster goes on:

Well I normally dont go down town unless necessary. However, I figured that with the Taste of Colorado in town, and the fact that 16th street mall is a big tourist attraction, I ASSUMED that it would be a relatively safe place. In fact I was more worried about being pick pocketed.

Anyway, that assessment has change. I have talked with several police officers that now tell me that no one should go out without being armed at all times and that there are no save places anymore.

Ok, so shame on me. I will not be going downtown Denver again unless I am required to meet some legal requirement.

I had parked at the 410 building over on 17th street. We walked down to 16th and then turned left to walk towards the Capital Building. Had not gone more than 2 / 3 blocks ???? I am still dealing with the memory loss from the concussion so I’m a bit shaky as to where.

Come to find out that there have been so many assaults that there is even a Facebook page for the victims to discuss. My LEO friends tell me that the Mayor has put pressure on the local radio and news papers to not report the number of assaults.

People are putting up facebook pages to link up with other people who were attacked in the same place. “Hey guys – if you ever were attacked in the downtown area, I’d like to meet up. I’ve got some great stories about my assaults and I’d like to hear yours! We can compare scars, or look at pictures of our injuries. If a relative of yours was killed, stop right by and bring a picture – I’d love to hear about that too!”

And the collapse hasn’t even really started yet. This is like the previews for other movies before the big movie starts. Arm up, know what is around you, and try to not be too recognizable in case you decide hanging around after the carnage you’ve wrought would be bad – unless you have surveillance operating where you are…

Apocalypse cometh™