Of r-selection And Subway Dongle-Massagers

I can’t help but laugh nowadays when I see r-selection in action:

They say New Yorkers are tough. But even by big city standards, nobody is as fierce as Deanna Carter, a woman who recently busted out her phone and confronted a man who tried to masturbate in front of her on the subway.

“Rubbing your dick? What the fuck are you doing?” Carter shouts in the mobile video. “Do it again and I’m gettin’ up out this chair and I’mma bust your fuckin’ ass on this train … you rub your dick when you get off the motherfucking train. Do we fucking understand each other?”

The man nods slightly, but Carter isn’t satisfied. So she tells him to get off the train at the next stop.

“Say, ‘I understand you, Miss,'” she says. He complies, promptly exiting the train.

This model of sexual dimorphism is exactly what you see in r-selected animals in nature. Cowardly effete males with no sexual control sit off on the side, quietly spanking their monkeys in public, until large aggressive females decide to humiliate them in front of everyone else. This is the r-selected liberal Bonobo human to the Conservative’s K-selected chimpanzee. The only difference is that in humans, females videotape it for youtube, just for fun. The best part?

“Say, “I understand you miss!” All ‘ight now! We have an understanding!”

He actually meekly says it to mollify her. Then he got off the train, went somewhere else, pulled out his shlong, and did it again – and they caught him. Now he has been charged in both instances.

Think about how the real r-strategist thinks. Imagine being him. This is normal to him. To him, this is how his life as a man is meant to be. This woman humiliating him like this – it happens and it doesn’t phase him. He gets up, moves, and then he does it all over again somewhere else. His life is spent running from one corner of the world to another, sitting frightened and massaging his dongle publicly – and getting humiliated and chased off by alpha women all along the way. That is just normal, everyday experiences to him. If this isn’t the perfect example of the ultimate evolution of the modern pro-feminist manboob, I don’t know what is.

This is what r-selection inevitably evolves toward. Scalzi, Obama, Clinton, George Will, the Cucks at National Review – they are all waypoints on the evolutionary path to this. This is the pinnacle of r which they want to lead us toward. Cowardly, effete men, lacking sexual control, and manly aggressive women who try to humiliate them for fun – (themselves in search of that Ultimate Alpha who parries their verbal assail with some witty, Gives-No-Fuck banter as he amusedly rubs away).

Think this won’t be legalized some day? The Federal government has not just legalized men entering women’s bathrooms and locker rooms. It has legalized the most sexually twisted men, wearing wigs and makeup, using women’s bathrooms and walking around naked in women’s locker-rooms superman-style, wigs blowing in the wind, arms akimbo, and shlongs resplendent. Nothing is off the table today.

Mark my words, if the free resources continued long enough, subway jerkers would get federal protection, because they aren’t hurting anyone. It would be like gay marriage. You would be the weird one for feeling it is odd. They would even try to shame you over your opposition to it. You’d be a donglephobe, with donglephobia. LGBTQ would become LGBTQD. They would march down the street in St Patrick’s Day parades proudly, schlongs in hand, and SJWs would cheer as they went by. The Pope would debate making them Priests. The issue would cost candidates elections, and National Review would chew us out for being extremists, and turning our backs on the civil rights of Public Dongle Massagers. They would make the big tent argument, tell us the rise in dongle massagers meant we would be demographically doomed unless we embraced it, and say we are uncompassionate and antiquated in our thinking. They’d bring Derbyshire back just so they could ban him again as an example.

r-selection is a scale of infinite weirdness, and there is no end.

It is funny to see the model in other r-selected animals in nature, marvel at how strange it seems, and then see it crop up, in full form, right in front of us just as you would predict, despite its seeming ridiculousness. But there it is in humans, just like you see it in nature, and emerging at the very moment we are at peak resource availability courtesy of an artificial resource glut provided by national debt.

This is the r-selected Apocalypse. Now for the economic collapse to rescue us, by bringing K-selection back.