Narcissists Are Inhuman

I got an email from somebody detailing their recent escape from an old narcissist who tried to rekindle contact, and suck them back in. I’ve gotten several of these over the years, and you can feel the sensations the narcissist is feeling throughout the story. The tentative reach out to make contact because of some desperate need, the immediate technical application of a guilt trip over the lost contact to try and pressure the target into supplication, and the tangible relief if the target evinces any sort of predictable sorrow over not having kept in touch with the narcissist.

Behind it, you always know the narcissist had been war-gaming the moment in their head hundreds of times, mentally testing phrases, and how strong to come on to elicit the guilt, but not overplay the ruse and turn things confrontational.

Then the dance begins, as the narcissist transitions to euphoria at the idea they have successfully controlled their old target and they are back in, then confusion when the target pushes back and establishes boundaries, then fear and caution as they try to reestablish control with just enough pressure to get control, but not too much to drive the target away, then euphoria when the target seems to follow an old behavioral pattern, then anger when they break pattern, and on and on.

It flashed my mind back to video of my old narcissist, and the glassy-eye’d narcotic-like smile he would get when he thought he had gained control over some rube, then the panicked fear when he had lost it, the anger after a rejection, and the whole roller coaster that would ensue in his head.

I think what they need is the relief of feeling smart and superior when they manipulate others. Absent that, they are traumatized, just by the thought of what they really are.

They end up good at the manipulation because the brain defect narcissists have, that panic of feeling inferior, simulates the lack of emotion of the psychopath. But I do not think that like a psychopath they lack the emotions. I think they have them, but the panic they feel makes the emotions unimportant in their hierarchy of concerns. It is a key difference. They have the emotions and feel them, they just have the ability to completely ignore them.

The psychopath is dangerous, because they see these levers in others, and the levers jump out at them because they are so bizarre. What idiot would sacrifice something of themselves for a friend? Why would they ever do that? They will lose something.

When it is so clear and obvious, the psychopath often quickly learns to use it against everyone around them. But the Narcissist is even worse. He mixes in a keen understanding of exactly what empathy and loyalty are, and how they motivate, because he has felt them. A psychopath knows these things are out there, and can learn how to use them, but they are like a deaf Beethoven, holding a pencil against the piano with their teeth as they try to hear what they are composing. The narcissist knows those emotions because he has felt them, so he is using things he has a firsthand understanding of, and can visualize firsthand, beyond just seeing them as a lever. That makes him a maestro at manipulation, limited only by his low IQ, and his inability to fathom life without panic and insecurity.

The reader who wrote me knew full well what he had dodged, and yet he reported still feeling guilt and remorse, as if he had mistreated someone he owed loyalty to, and inflicted some unconscionable pain on an innocent person who wasn’t responsible for his own shitbaggery because he was so damaged. How the narcissist would jump on that, if only he knew – and then once in control he would quickly set about ruining his life, and laugh at his stupidity.

Usually these reach-outs by the narcissist after long periods of no contact are an attempt to regain some old glory days, which tells you that things are probably not going well for the narcissist. If they were in Hollywood as an A-list star with millions of dollars and endless narcissistic supply, the last thing they would do is call you up out of the blue and invite you out. The sudden call is a sign that they have been thinking, “If I can just drag him back in, I could really use him to solve this problem in my life.”

Once you beat a narcissist back, revel in the fact you won, and realize the beauty you just added to your world. Replace those feelings of guilt with a feeling of relief and a realization that the narcissist can only really be understood as an inhuman demon who has devoted their entire life to ruining the happiness of others. They know what they are, and now you do too, and there is no going back.

Then, if you want to feel bad, feel bad for all the poor fucks who are not armored like you, and who are going to end up probing the depths of horror themselves, because they don’t have the depth of knowledge you do. Your time in hell is over, but their’s is just beginning – and there is no guarantee for them that it will ever end.

God bless the afflicted, because they need it.

Spread r/K Theory, because it is better than having to deal with narcissists