Bald Men Being Hunted In Africa, Because Their Heads Contain Gold

Better stock up on the Rogaine, if you are heading to the dark continent:

Bald men are being hunted down and killed in Mozambique over the belief that their heads contain gold, NPR reported. Five men have been killed, according to NPR, all in central Mozambique.

“Last month, the murders of two bald people led to the arrest of two suspects,” national police spokesman Inacio Dina said in a news conference in the country’s capital of Maputo. Their motives, he added, likely came from the superstition and cultural belief that bald men are rich.

One of the victims was found “with his head cut off and his organs removed,” Miguel Caetano, a spokesman for the security forces in the central province of Zambezia

Imagine living down there, and knowing every time you go out, there are idiots who will see you, and want to crack your head open to steal the gold they think you have in there.

Some of the attackers apparently think if they crack the cranium they will find gold, while others followed the brilliant logic that bald men are probably rich, so if you take their organs and use them in black magic or eat them, you can acquire the magic to get rich yourself. I imagine a bald albino would have to really watch his ass. And now that this has hit the media, the belief will probably explode.

Note to the left – begin immediately increasing immigration from Mozambique, so we can capitalize on this intellectual goldmine, and import additional cultural diversity in the process. Even better all of these people can just be imported, and they will immediately turn into American brain surgeons and rocket scientists, fueling an economic revival of our nation.

Spread r/K Theory, because it is the closest thing to gold, inside your head