My husband has a life that many people who are “rule-followers,” like me, would envy. When I first met him, it was undeniably a passionate love affair. I’d never dated anyone or known anyone like him before. He took risks, lived all over the world, had many passions and has been a loyal friend…
Over the past four years, my career has skyrocketed in ways I never could have dreamed of. I’ve broken through the hypothetical glass ceiling in a male-dominated industry. I am a huge believer in women in the workplace and always will be. If they become the breadwinners in marriage, more power to them.
Now herein lies my problem — I became the breadwinner in an extreme way. I committed to supporting us for two years, but we’re going on four now, and it will likely be five. Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses. What I’ve found is I can’t live this girl-power lifestyle that I believe in.
I’m very close to a breaking point, and I never stop thinking about leaving my husband. And no matter what other reasons I come up with, it always leads back to money, power and sexual attraction.
When resources are free, dopamine flows, the amygdala will shut off, and one will begin to look for stimulation to elicit ever more dopamine. People who would have been perfectly happy in monogamy begin to look to affairs and other dopamine stimulants to break the easy monotony.
I doubt this woman even realizes it, but if she hadn’t gotten to a point where she had nothing occupying her amygdala, she would not feel the drive to find a “sexier” man. Free resources reprogram the brain in ways people only vaguely understand today. I am convinced if you make a tremendous amount of money, you need to focus on what you are going to do with it, and channel your desires into some arduous task that will keep you feeling unsatisfied, and driven to reach that next level.
This may be why the only rich you see who are sane are those like Donald Trump, who are never satisfied with where they are, and who always have to reach that next level.
Link other people to r/K Theory, because women should be dissuaded from riding the carousel
[…] Are Free Resources Linked To Hypergamy? […]
Feminism was a mistake. Take back the 18th amendment, get women out of the workplace and back into the home where they belong.
Not gonna happen without a fight.
Don’t complicate the simple. Women don’t like supporting deadbeats. End of story.
Actually, it’s more than that. Some women want to earn as much as a man, but they also want a man who earns more than they themselves do.
And those contradicting drives – one to be an equal, the other to be a follower, cause them to behave irrationally.
In a partnership, both people have to contribute. In a balanced partnership, they contribute equally. The means by which each contributes can be negotiated, and in a free society it is a benefit that males and females are not constricted to certain gender-dictated roles. Some females are able to and enjoy being financial breadwinners. Some males enjoy participating in household tasks. But so long as the contributions even out somewhat equally (my point being it doesn’t have to be dollar for dollar — it can also be doing the work of the household, repairs, errands, cooking, childcare — whether divided along traditional gender lines or split up in a more modern way). — then it can work very well. Scarcity also obviously plays a part. If it is the team of the two “us against the world” economically, and having children can help in this sense of having an in-group to protect and nurture, then yes, if both are working hard to contribute, the partnership succeeds. If the two become divided one against the other, because one takes advantage (deadbeat) and the other provides the lion’s share of support (especially if there is an overabundance of resources), then the partnership fails. The people might be together, but the sense of being a balanced team will not be there.